“Everything You Need To Know about Being Single”

"Don’t let pressure takes us, being happy and at peace always give a better life."

When would be the right time to settle down? In your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or never? It’s good to marry and have kids in the middle age because you’re matured enough and able to handle everything, got a stable job then you won’t worry about financial situation on what to feed to your family. Oh no no, it would be so much better when you marry at the young age because when you reach at your 40’s or 50s you will not worry anything on taking care of your kids. All you have to do is enjoy yourself like traveling or whatever you wanted to do in your life. Oh geeze!

 Wherever I go, these are the usual ice breaker I always encounter…  Hey it’s been awhile I haven’t seen you. Been married already? How many kids you’ve got? Oh dear wait … what??? Seriously ? How old are you? Come’ on we’re not getting any younger here. Why you didn’t marry? You need to have kids on your own and get a life.  Do you want to be an old maiden? What’s your purpose here on Earth if you stay like that? 

Yes not new anymore and I’m sure it’s not only me who’s experiencing this kind of scenario. Sometimes it is also embarrassing to talk about your personal life and choice in front of lot of people, it feels like everyone is waiting to validate your reason. I remember there’s also a funny thing that I encountered lately when I saw my classmate in grade school and able to do a quick conversation with him asking me if how many kids I do have while carrying his child. So I answered him politely that I don’t have. He’s shocked and asking me again if I’m married. So again I smiled while saying no to him. He looked so concerned telling me that I should marry and have kids for we are not getting younger and giving me a warning that my ovaries might be expired too (in fact it’s true and I agree with him but just the age hahaha … about ovaries ok ok I got it when our ancestors usually insisted that if a woman marry or have children after 30’s ,she might be having a hard time in giving birth because of her body that it started to get old. I don’t know exactly if there’s a scientific basis for that or maybe I’m not that aware in human anatomy in different stages related to pregnancy or whatsoever or just an idiomatic expression since then, however I admit that I’m getting old now.) Anyway, I told him that it’s totally fine for I can’t grab anybody or anyone else who’s available to marry me or give me a child instantly. There’s no way to know a person just like a snap of a finger unless you have to live with him or her to get to know each other truly. Honestly, it takes a lot of time to know and see the real person.

Mostly to the people whom I talked, who were so concerned about mysituation and I truly appreciate that. But what I’m supposed to do with that if it’s not what I wanted now to be happy? Just based on my personal interpretation, we always have our own unique way to think or how to handle some certain situations so please allow me to share some point of views.

Here’s 3 Basic Things you need to know on being Single:

First thing foremost, we single people also love the idea of getting married, have kids and build our own family. Everytime we attended some weddings or baptism, we even imagine ourselves if only it’s us on that moment. Duh! We have emotions to feel that way too. There’s also some time we are very hopeful to let it happen one day. Yup, you heard it right, we are not that insensitive not to feel a romantic imagination. However, I should ask myself first if I’m really ready to commit and take responsibilities with that kind of lifestyle. True that some of us been to a traumatic or toxic relationship in the past that leads us now to give at rest for a moment and fix our selves. I learned that we need to love and take care of our self first before giving it to anyone else. How could we do it to others if we didn’t give value to ourselves? It’s not being selfish but that’s the right thing to do. For me, i’m a type of person that I don’t want to bother someone or I’m a burden to them. In my whole life and at a young age I’m so independent so I grow up just like that…yes I am, so as much as possible I tried now not to rely on easy things to do. People always come and go, they born and later on they die. We meet then forget, stay or leave. It’s a natural way of living a life regardless of age or status in life that we may have. So hard to become dependent or being so attached that you might forget on becoming true to yourself.  When depression also strikes, it’s a serious thing to deal with. Some can cope up some may not. Easy to say get up but in fact it takes time to bring you back to what it used to be. Some wounds are too deep and it needs a lot of time to get heal. Scars leave a memory that gives flashbacks to what had happened and gives nightmare to some of us. Even if we are shattered we still able to give another chance to what they say forever 'til eternity. Some beg, work hard to achieve it and just to fulfill others pressure. But at the end of the day, it’s us who will really suffer, if we don’t listen to our own voice. Yes we really want to be happy but happiness doesn’t mean it’s only to be married. Freedom and being successful in what you want brings a great happiness in one’s life. Probably you may think there’s also another definition of happiness for you and you’re right.  There are no limitations on what happiness exactly means to us. So go on look for it and claim it. For now, there’s something that I’m looking for my fulfillment.  Doing my best that whatever decision I make, I won’t have any regrets in the future. Practically saying, getting married need to consider financial matter too. In this generation or maybe it’s just me but I don’t like if I don’t share a few funds on it. In this point, it touches about emotions and money matters (let’s be frank here, no one don’t need money. It’s essential to all of us and gives at least a comfortable life. So before settling down, for me I must need to see myself first, for sure later on I’ll be confident enough to stand on my own and to spend the rest of my life to that special person.

Second, let’s talk about kids …. They’re always cute little angel even though sometimes they are so naughty. Well, isn’t a wonderful idea to see your own bones and flesh just in front of you like a clone? Exciting to know if what would be the behavior or attitude they acquired from us either good or the opposite right? There’s some who would also love to have their own kids but they can’t. Or some can but so hard to handle the obligations. Having kids is not what you think just to give them a breastmilk. They need a proper care and comfortable life. I’ve been through tough times when I was a kid. So I say to myself if ever I will have a family of my own, I don’t want my children to experience the struggle we had and if there’s a worry they might be in, it’s just about their studies and being a kid. I don’t want them to worry especially with financial matter, I want them to enjoy being a kid, a teenager and an adult until they are able to stand up as an independent grown up individual. Though, having a baby or raising a kid is not a joke. You may tell me that I’m an over thinker but let’s face the truth. When a woman got pregnant, of course there’s a lot of financial assistance needed, from food for the baby, maternity clothes, prenatal and so on… Giving birth and maintenance of the baby until they reaches the age to go to school. Do we have to rely on the government assistance? Our husband/partner or parents? Guys it’s a serious matter and we need to be matured enough to take great responsibility to feed our kids. When mom pressured me to get married and have my own kids, I simply asked her if she is willing to support the milk or even give her grandchildren an educational plan? And she said no, so the conversation is cleared that I need to think properly, otherwise, me and my kids will be in the same situation that I had before ( working at the early age and forget to enjoy the time of being real kids ).

Third, on the contrary, we can also flirt, have a date, check some dating sites or app, exchanging sweet sms or mails. Go along and tolerate those sugary coated words, enchanting actions and pseudo hopes. But it’s too much when they are just fucking around. Just thinking only about lust and enjoyment. A person with no contentment and focus takes a lot of consideration to take it or leave it. It’s another risk of taking a commitment for a new relationship. Mending a broken heart is not that easy but if we’re ready to take it, we can still manage everything that leads to our journey to ringing bells.

So far how was it? Does it make sense or still unacceptable for you and still want us to give more pressure about settling down? If we say we are not ready yet definitely you will sarcastically ask us when would you be ready? During doomsday or end of the world? Poor thing! That’s too late for you to decide single ladies/guys! 

So, before I ended up my blog for you, let me share it with you to see some few things why I personally choose to be happily single.

1.   Value and Love myself – so wonderful to feel when I know exactly who I amand what truly makes me happy.

2.   Fulfilling Goals – Making it happen to my journey as a Dreamer.

3.   Time for Passion – never thought that I almost forget and lost my passion.

4.   Dedication for Family – I realized I need to spend more time with them andcatch up some time before it’s too late.

5.   Mending some broken pieces – regaining trust back.

6.   Achieving Nirvana – finding a place of peace and happiness

That’s it! We are not being picky here, setting high standards or whatsoever you think of. But for us it’s better to meet our ideal partner whom we can share the rest of our life once we can assure to ourselves that there’s no turning back, no hesitation, no doubt and it just feels just right now. Vanishing the pressure you all put in. I’m sure it will just come along in this journey where our path crosses. Just relax and sit back, no need to hurry and get rush. Age is justa number either we are single or not, happiness in one’s life is always a must. We know some married couples broke up even if they are too old already. Early to marry and turns out messing around to each other while kids suffer the most. Being unfaithful and having an affair later on for they fed up with their shits staying together.

So dear fellas, there’s nothing wrong if we are single now or die being like that. Being happy and at peace always give a better life. Don’t let pressure takes us in for we might regret doing it so. There’s a lot of reason to enjoy life rather than stuck on looking for person to marry you. If they will not come then be patiently be waiting, Sure thing they’ll come. If not, then we still need to be grateful for we are not on the hard situation what married couple might into.

Enjoy finding our true purpose in life. It could be inspiring or helping our families, friends, or others that we may not know. Don’t succumb the society’s pressure to marry and have kids. Where in fact in times of needs no one will surely give you a hand for a lift. Though maybe only few or selected ones but just in a certain time where you can lean on but don’t expect for any priorities.

I hope you understand us now why we stay single and respect our decisions.

Some do have their deep reasons why and don’t want to talk about it anymore. We highly appreciate as well if you are sensitive enough to see if we want to discuss our relationship status or not. Yes you can ask us and it feels great when you don’t throw a lot of questions to us why then tell us what exactly to do based on your own approval. We can listen to your advises but don’t expect us if we will do it or not. My Life, My Rule! Thank you so much for your time and don’t take it personally . Spread love not hate ♥☺.